December 2012
1 post
7 tags
November 2012
2 posts
8 tags
6 tags
May 2012
2 posts
3 tags
March 2012
10 posts
6 tags
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faptizing asked: so you guys don't sell mountain bikes?
6 tags
February 2012
2 posts
*Something clatters to the floor in the break room*
Employee 1 - Wow. That was weird. That happened way after the other thing.
Employee 2 - It was the poultergeist.
Employee 1 - Poultrygeist? Guys, I may be just a chicken, but I'm scared.
Employee 3 - That joke was fowl.
5 tags
January 2012
1 post
6 tags
“That’s why I hate money. You can’t eat it. It fucks up your intestines.”
– George’s Customer (via narrativecausality)
December 2011
1 post
4 tags
September 2011
2 posts
Anonymous asked: how is a raven like a writing desk?
August 2011
3 posts
NO HABLO INGLES
Customer 1: Do you guys buy Metro phones?
Me: Yup. I'll need an ID though.
Customer 1: *hands me ID*
Me: Isn't this him? *I point to Customer 2*
Customer 1: Yeah, it's his phone. He don't speak English--I'm speaking for him.
Me: Well, this is a permanent resident card, we can't--
Customer 2: It's my green card!
Me: I thought he didn't speak English.
Customer 1: He don't.
Me: He's speaking it right now.
6 tags
Literally a Shit-Eating Grin
Employee 1: Why do I smell popcorn?
Employee 2: *eats popcorn from bag, grinning*
Employee 1: Where did you get that?
Employee 3: Wait. A customer just asked me to throw that out. WHY ARE YOU EATING SOMETHING A CUSTOMER ASKED ME TO THROW OUT?
Employee 2: This popcorn isn't very good.
7 tags
July 2011
22 posts
7 tags
Wait... what??
Us: Sorry, we couldn't take this.
Them: Well my wife called you guys a bunch of technopuppies. That's why you won't take it.
Us: .......Ok well there's nothing we can do.
(internal: What the fuck is a technopuppy?)
7 tags
Everyday chat with Sprint
Us: Do you have ham?
Them: Pardon me?
Us: You know the ones that go well with the hand grenades?
Them: Did you say ham or hand grenades?
Us: ........hamgrenades?!?
8 tags
I'm NOT lovin' it
Customer: Hi.
Me: Hi.
Customer: Want a fry?
Me: No.
Customer: How about two?
Me: No, that's fine.
Customer: Well, you're not having my double cheeseburger.
Me: Ok.
Customer: Fine, have it.
7 tags
“Oh, it’s the 20 terabyte iPod.”
– misinformed customer
7 tags
“Can I go get a cigarette-slash-some chicken wings?”
– morning-shift employee
8 tags
“I want an Android phone… So I can watch porn. How do I watch porn on this?”
– unnecessarily upfront customer
5 tags
whywehateyou:
We hate you because you haven’t bathed in weeks.
4 tags
“Do you guys buy electric razors? No? Do YOU wanna buy an electric razor? No?...”
– persistent customer
5 tags
Still gross, sir.
Them: I would like to sell some DVDs... but they're all adult.
Us: Well, at least you were upfront, but no, we don't buy those.
Them: Well... they're not hardcore.
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“My gumdrop buttons!”
– pleasant coworker
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“Yo, you got that new Dane Cook CD? I think it’s called Supa’ Flippa?”
– towny customer
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Sorry, you are over your limit for Lavender Fields...
Them: Would you buy this?
Us: What is it?
Them: I don't know.
Us: Well, let me tell you. That's a candle.
Them: Oh... so...?
Us: ...no.
6 tags
5 tags
whywehateyou:
We hate you because you come barging up to the register counter regardless of whether or not the clerk is ready.
7 tags
whywehateyou:
We hate you because you try to haggle with us. We can’t magically change the prices for you. This isn’t a flea market.
5 tags
“Do you guys sell mountain bikes?”
– confused customer
7 tags
“OBAMA, FAGGOT! YOU’RE IGNORANT!”
– racist customer
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